Roses, Daisies, and Thong Underwear

We used to have a "Community Closet" at the school where I work. People would donate their used clothing, others would "shop" for things they needed. They had a policy that underwear were not permitted in the closet so a couple of years ago when somebody donated an unopened package of thong underwear, instead of going in the closet, they were used by the closet coordinator to decorate the custodian's office. I thought that was highly creative and quite amusing . . . until one day when I left my purse in the custodian's office. For days afterward, every time I got into a new pocket of my purse, I found yet another thong. This was all fine in my garage, but somewhat embarrassing in the Wendy's drive through. One pair has survived through the years and has been passed back and forth between the former closet coordinator and me in a variety of ways . . . I hid them in her wallet, she sent them back to me via school district mail (which I will, of course, deny should any district officials see this post), I had a friend discreetly put them in her desk at her new place of employment. On Valentine's Day, I got a call from the office at school. The secretary wanted to know if I had a new boyfriend that I should have mentioned to her because I had received a bouquet of flowers. As I tried to think of which of my many admirers could have sent it, she arrived with bouquet in hand. The card was not signed. It merely said, "Will you be my Valentine? Got ya!" After a moment or two of confusion, I found a bag that was attached to the bouquet and saw the telltale colors that told me I had been tagged and once again had the thong in my possession. (My students sent me to time-out as a consequence for wasting their reading group time by laughing uncontrollably. . . twice!)

This is a call for help from all of my readers' diabolical minds. I have to find a way to get the infamous thong back into the possession of the former closet coordinator. The more ideas the better, as I'm sure I will need to return them more than once. Get those creative juices flowing! I need you!